Dear ABS

Dear Amateur Brain Surgeon.

I don't know about you, but for me, this has been a pretty bad year what with The Synod and me finding out the whole Platformate thing was a scam; do you remember that?

It was in 1962 when Shell began to run these gasoline ads showing cars with Shell's Platformate driving alongside cars without Platformate and the Shell cars kept going after the cars without Platformate began rolling to a stop.

Enclosed, please find link to old Shell Ad;

What the ad didn't report was that all commercial gasolines had Platformate. Shell was duplicitous, wasn't it?

Do you remember what else began in 1962?

Vatican Two (And I'm not saying they removed the Platformate from the Real Mass, but, they did something like that, right?); and they say there are no coincidences.

So, there's that to consider; but I'd like to move on to a few other problem areas that I'd like your help with.

First of all, why does everybody say "issue" instead of "problem." It's because of the perniciously ubiquitous influence of psychology, right?

And then what about the use of "people" when talking about a sport played only by men?

Sportscasters are forever talking about "how many  people the Dallas Cowboys are using to get to the quarterback" when not only is "man" a shorter word with fewer syllables, it is more descriptive of reality and whereas "man" can be a synecdoche, "people" can't, right?

So, do you think it is because of all the feminism and fags in control of our culture?  Me too.

Back to The Synod; nah, to hell with it, I want to get your advice on a little problem I created for my own self but just can't seem to solve.

Enclosed, please find photo of Abp. Cupich and information on his desire to distribute Communion to Adulterers
Amid reports of drama, division and deadlock among Roman Catholic bishops meeting in Rome, a delegate emerged from the closed-door meetings Friday to deliver a message of hope for many in the flock: The church will find new ways to offer help for families. That messenger was Chicago's own Archbishop Blase Cupich.


Cupich told reporters in Rome he favors pathways to offer Holy Communion to divorced and remarried Catholics. He said the church must respect the decisions those Catholics make about their spiritual lives and he believes the same is true for gay Catholics in relationships.
"I think we have to make sure that we don't pigeonhole one group as though they're not part of the human family, so there's a different set of rules for them," Cupich said during the roundtable news briefing Friday. "That would be, I think, a big mistake.

In September I joined Ecclesial Draft Kings and I chose Blase Cupich for my Fantasy Church League (The Church of the Atavistic Bavardages) and I thought I had made a great choice because mercy and what not but, now, I think it is obvious I did not chose wisely and nobody will trade with me and so I am stuck forever searching the waiver wires for some unknown Bishop.

Any advice?

Signed,
Flummoxed in Fullerville, Florida.

Dear Flummoxed in Fullerville. What'n'hell is it with you people? Of COURSE I found what you enclosed in your letter; you included it, didn't you, and you didn't put a note asking me to "please find  my enclosed letter,"; so just quit it.

OK.

Ok, now, on to your letter. ABS agrees with everything you wrote, except for the part where ABS does not.

Cupich, you drafted him?  Is that because Luther is dead? ABS hopes you were drunk. Don't you keep up with the current events in the Catholic Church? 

Sure, his future under Franciscus is so bright he has to wear shades, but, for cry'n'ow'loud, he is a modernist who loathes Tradition.

Haven't you even heard about how he locked a Church so the faithful Catholics couldn't assist at a real mass during our Holiest time of the year?


March 27, 2002 11:00 pm  •  






























































RAPID CITY - A standoff between Latin-rite Catholics in Rapid City and their bishop has left the Latin Mass congregation of St. Michael's choosing to celebrate Good Friday services on the sidewalk instead of in church.
Members of the Latin Mass community, which has met in Rapid City for the past 12 years at Immaculate Conception Church on Fifth Street, say Bishop Blase Cupich has barred them from celebrating Good Friday and Easter vigil services at the church in an attempt to mainstream them into the English-language Mass.
"We've been prohibited by the bishop from celebrating the Easter Triduum liturgies and locked out of our church from noon on Holy Thursday until 8 a.m. on Easter morning," Dan Carda, 58, of Piedmont, said. Carda is a Latin Mass adherent who refuses to participate in the new-order English-language Mass that was mandated by the Second Vatican Council.

So, Amateur Brain Surgeon recommends reaching out to the peripheries and drafting Volodymyr Viytyshyn of the Archeparchy of The Ukrainian Catholic church of the Byzantine Tradition.

ABS knows almost nothing about him but as a general rule, the Byzantine Catholics have prevented their Sacred Rites from becoming anthropocentric.

Good luck and Goodbye flummoxed friend. May God keep you.

O, and stop gambling.

Pax tecum