Record number of condoms will be distributed at this year's Winter Olympics: 110,000 are set to be given away - enough for 37 per athlete
- Baskets with condoms will be placed at both men's and women's toilets
- The number of condoms distributed ahead of major international track, field and winter sports events has consistently risen, figures show
- One explanation for the increase is because of more use of dating apps
Olympic officials are considering awarding Gold Medals to the male and female who has had the highest number of official fornications but they warn all concerned; Look, we know men lie about conquests just as women do and so the sexual congress claims must be accompanied by a selfie taken in the stands, car, pole vaulting pit, shower, massage rooms, training tables, ski lifts, laundry rooms, or dumpster where the fornication is alleged to have occurred.
Because there are so many women from Islamic countries in the competition a clitirectomy card exemption will be given to the women from those barbaric lands and they will not be required to prove an orgasm has occurred.
After viewing the women's team from Armenia most gamblers have eliminated every single one of them as a possible winner of the I-welcome-you-in-global-friendship-with-my-legs-wide-open pink pussy hat trophy and the smart money is being laid heavily on the Swedish contingent sight unseen.
Various handsome and/or literate men from Africa are predicted to win the Golden Penis Award because the If-you-don't-do-it-that-proves-you-are-rayciss accusation has been successful in uncountable numbers of sexual conquests ever since Soul Train and Roots.
After viewing the women's team from Armenia most gamblers have eliminated every single one of them as a possible winner of the I-welcome-you-in-global-friendship-with-my-legs-wide-open pink pussy hat trophy and the smart money is being laid heavily on the Swedish contingent sight unseen.
Various handsome and/or literate men from Africa are predicted to win the Golden Penis Award because the If-you-don't-do-it-that-proves-you-are-rayciss accusation has been successful in uncountable numbers of sexual conquests ever since Soul Train and Roots.