Friday Fun


ABS, you seem to know pretty much everything. I'd like to know what you think would be a good thing for me to do if I were to win the lottery.


Thank you for the question pretend interlocutor. Were you to win the lottery you should buy a Rugby Team. As of today, in The National Rugby League are teams with mundane names.


ClubColoursCityHome venue (capacity)Est.NSWRL/ARL/SL/NRL seasonsNSWRL/ARL/SL/NRL premierships
FirstTotalTotalMost recent
Brisbane BroncosBrisbane colours.svgBrisbane, QueenslandSuncorp Stadium (52,500)198819883362006
Canberra RaidersCanberra colours.svgCanberra, Australian Capital TerritoryGIO Stadium (25,011)198119823931994
Canterbury-Bankstown BulldogsCanterbury colours.svgSydney, New South WalesANZ Stadium (83,500), Belmore Sports Ground (20,000), Bankwest Stadium (30,000)193419358682004
Cronulla-Sutherland SharksCronulla colours.svgSydney, New South WalesNetstrata Jubilee Stadium (20,500)196719675412016
Gold Coast TitansGold Coast Titans colours.svgGold Coast, QueenslandCbus Super Stadium (27,400)20072007140—
Manly Warringah Sea EaglesManly Sea Eagles colours.svgSydney, New South WalesLottoland (23,000)194719477182011
Melbourne StormMelbourne colours.svgMelbourne, VictoriaAAMI Park (30,050)199719982342020
New Zealand WarriorsAuckland colours.svgAuckland, New ZealandMount Smart Stadium (30,000)19951995260—
Newcastle KnightsNewcastle colours.svgNewcastle, New South WalesMcDonald Jones Stadium (33,000)198819883322001
North Queensland CowboysNorth Queensland colours.svgTownsville, QueenslandQueensland Country Bank Stadium (25,000)199519952612015
Parramatta EelsParramatta colours.svgSydney, New South WalesBankwest Stadium (30,000)194719477441986
Penrith PanthersPenrith Panthers square flag icon with 2017 colours.svgSydney, New South WalesPanthers Stadium (22,500)196719675422003
South Sydney RabbitohsSouth Sydney colours.svgSydney, New South WalesANZ Stadium (83,500)19081908111212014
St. George Illawarra DragonsSt. George colours.svgSydney, New South Wales
Wollongong, New South Wales		Netstrata Jubilee Stadium (20,500)
WIN Stadium (23,000)		199819992212010
Sydney RoostersEastern Suburbs colours.svgSydney, New South WalesSydney Cricket Ground (48,000)19081908113152019
Wests TigersWests Tigers colours.svgSydney, New South WalesLeichhardt Oval (20,000)
Campbelltown Stadium (20,000)		199920002112005


Now, imagine that you had just won scads of dough in the lottery. You should buy one of the teams - prolly the Gold Coast Titans - and redesign their uniforms so the players would wear jerseys that looked like the clothing of old women from England.


The profit from the sale of the new jerseys alone would bring in more money than it cost you to buy the team.


Imagine what excitement would be generated in The NRL with a team named Eleanor Rugby?





Ah, look at all the drunken people

Ah, look at all the drunken people

Eleanor Rugby

Infected with lice in the place where a big game has been

Searches for cream

Wails out the window

Scratching his privates he protects with a jock, they’re so sore 

Who is it for?

All the drunken  people

Where do they all come from?

All the drunken  people

In jail they all belong


Coach Joe McKenzie

Writing the words of a pep talk that no one will hear

Such talks are queer

Look at him working

Damning his players by name when there's nobody there

What does he care?

All the drunken people

Where do they all come from?

All the drunken people

In jail they all belong

Ah, look at all the drunken people

Ah, look at all the drunken people


Eleanor Rugby

Lost in the game and was buried along with her fame

They’re so damn lame

Coach Joe  McKenzie

Wiping memory from his brain; heads for a drink that he craves

Not one point was saved

All the drunken people (ah, look at all the drunken people)

Where do they all come from?

All the drunken (ah, look at all the drunken people)

In jail they all belong