Woolly Mammoth kills transgender professor

The woolly mammoth vanished from the Earth 4,000 years ago, but now scientists say they are on the brink of resurrecting the ancient beast in a revised form, through an ambitious feat of genetic engineering.

Speaking ahead of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) annual meeting in Boston this week, the scientist leading the “de-extinction” effort said the Harvard team is just two years away from creating a hybrid embryo, in which mammoth traits would be programmed into an Asian elephant.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/feb/16/woolly-mammoth-resurrection-scientists

We at ABE Ministry are of the opinion that if the Harvard Team is successful the best possible result of the reappearance of the Woolly Mammoth would be that the great beast would charge a meeting of the Boston Area Scientists Thoughtlessly Inculcating Demonic Scenarios - BASTIDS -  pluck a transgender studies professor from her chair, beat her senseless against the walls of the Harvard Kennedy School, then heave her onto a passing Garbage Scow slowly toiling down the Charles River.

Is this post too churlish?

It's always darkest before the storm

It's always darkest before the storm is the third track to be heard on Amateur Brain Surgeon’s debut album, Shootin it, an original collection of the puissant poetry of Amateur Brain Surgeon set to song.

All of the songs on this album are sung archipelago and all of the songs are exact reproductions of the lyrics and words of the amateur master.  

It’s always darkest before the storm

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

Poor Bob the angry slob thought he’d seen the worst 

when that Navy guy took out his eye and left him feeling cursed

but the short order cook neglected to remember that grave universal norm

when you think you’ve seen the worst it is always darkest before the storm

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

Name’s Bob an angry slob I’m a one-eyed cook down at the Diner

my life was finally working -out and nothing could’ve been finer

then suddenly it all went haywire when my pretty gal Fatima

that illegal alien somehow found out I’ve got diabetic macular edema

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

The widow Johnson was depressed and lonely after her hubby returned to dust

but genetics had given her a beautiful bottom and a more than ample bust

Saturday night at The Odd Fellows Hall she hooked up with a guy named Trent

first time they got nekkid together she wondered were his pecker had went

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

Widow Johnson was out of touch been raised in the country by granny

so she never thought it odd that Trent had a better looking fanny

sure he had delicate hands but a guy without a dink

I’ve been tricked by this woman is what she began to think

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

There was this uber driver a poor divorced mook named Jack

who drove slowly to the meet-up parked his Nissan  way out back

sullen and angry he sat there I’ll never get a tip from Paul

he’s prolly just some retarded fat janitor working at this crummy Mall

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

As Jack sat there waiting Fluffy-Face Princess Grace suddenly attacked his car

It viciously scratched up all of the paint vindictively shat on the roof of his car

Told the insurance agent the cause of the damage was nothing but the Gospel truth 

but then poor Jack was arrested ‘cause he  knocked out the laughing agent’s tooth.

Keep it quiet don’t say nothing especially don’t you rag

about the time you jumped a fence and a ball fell out yer bag

don’t compare your life to the men who are doing well

don’t you dare tempt fate saying your Heaven is really Hell

cause that’s when fate will hit you with the blivet of the Universal Norm

You think you got it bad now but it’s always darkest before the storm

70 minutes away from the past and future

http://www.latinmassmiami.org

It is about a 70 minute drive for ABS to get to the past and the future, The Real Mass. That is only a little over an hour's drive to cross over the rupture of the Lil' Licit Liturgy and arrive back in the reality of solid orthodoxy - The Real Mass.

While he was going to the Lil' Licit Liturgy, ABS would arrive early and prepare to assist at the Lord's Supper Service by saying his prayers and he would have to try and ignore the men and women  around him who spoke openly and loudly about Uncle Lou;  Pope Uncle Lou, he had a colonoscopy and they found polyps or, I was talking with Becky yesterday and she told me about this fantastic sale they are having at Joannes' Fabrics...but, ABS would try not to become too irked because the Lil' Licit Liturgy teaches the pew dwellers that this is a convivial community celebration centered on them and so, naturally, the chatter prior to the Lord's Supper is to be expected - after all, it's not like the local library where adults are expected to be respectful of others; others such as God.

ABS arrives early for The Real Mass and as he prepares to assist at it, he is delighted to hear the tiny schola at practice..

and then during the solemn celebration of the Real Mass in this modest out-of-the-way Chapel, ABS rediscovers the lost world of our past and our future for if the One True Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church is to survive - and it will - it will be owing to The Real Mass:

Still waiting....

There is obvious rupture with Vatican Two and Msgr Brunero Gherardini ended his excellent book on the Council  The Ecumenical Vatican Council II. A MUCH NEEDED DISCUSSION -with this plea:

For the good of the Church - and more specifically for the accomplishment of the "salus animarium" which is her primary and "suprema lux" - after decades of free exegetical, theological, liturgical, historiographical, and pastoral creativity in the name of Ecumenical Council Vatican 11, it seems to me that it is urgent that You offer some clarity by responding in an authoritative manner as to the question about the Council's continuity with the other Councils - not with declamation, but demonstration - and about its fidelity to the ever vigorous Tradition of the Church

This plea was directed at Pope Benedict XVI and he never responded.

He couldn't, could he?