BBC Liturgical News. The Feast of Pallone da spiaggia

Because the Catholic Church is on an unavoidable collision course with another World Youth Day in 2019, we at ABE ministry have been peppered with questions about the Liturgical Calendar for July 30th of this year;

Hey, ABE Ministry Founder and Chairman, Amateur Brain Surgeon, have you heard about any formal plans about a special day of Liturgy set aside on July 30th this year to commemorate Our Pope and Our Cross offering unto Mary a beach ball - remember, he solemnly placed one on the altar of Santa Maria Maggiore  in Rome in 2013 in anticipation of World Youth Day that year?

http://eponymousflower.blogspot.com/2013/07/pope-offers-beach-ball-to-our-lady-at.html


That's a very good question and ABS forwarded that question to the famous ecclesiastical expert 
Professor Herman NuDix of Continuity College in Rome

and he responded with his typically topical temerity;

Dear Amateur Brain Surgeon. Ha, ha ha, very funny. 

I know the mean-spiritedness of you and your The-Sixth-Commandment-is-binding-on-all-no-matter-what ilk but Our Pope is nothing if not uber sensitive to the complexities of modern life to say nothing about being a role model for the youth of today and I have it on good authority that he is indeed looking forward to the next World Youth Day in Panama in 2019 and he will begin anticipating all of the great fun to be had there by formalising the Feast of Pallone da spiaggia * at St Mary's Major.

Now, wise guy, even you can prolly figure out those Italian words mean Beach Ball and what might a Beach Ball suggest to even the dull of soul like you legalistic Traditionalist Pharisees?

Well, for starters, it is round like the very world God created out of love.

Put that in your Traditional Thuribles and smoke it because whether you and your extreme far right extremist hate-mongering legalistic Pharisees like it or not, this Pope embodies and actualises continuity and so putting a beach ball on the altar of St Mary's Major every July 30th is the new tradition because we say so and we own Rome.

ABS vacillates twixt thinking this Papacy is a giant garbage scow being dragged out into the peripheries with its massive mounds of mephitic modernism infecting all and sundry in the Perfect Society and thinking it is a car speeding towards an immovable object.

What IS this Papacy all about?

* OK, ABS concedes that when spoken out loud
Pallone da spiaggia does sound as though it might be a legit feast