The Evel Papacy

Famous Daredevil and Double Secret Pope

In a stunning new development today, citizens of Tradistan began rioting and burning thousands of old copies of Mediator Dei when the news reached them that, according to the famous sedevacantist brothers, Tom and Dick Verbo, Pope Pius XII was not the last real Pope because, it has been shown with prolly 52% moral certitude, that the so-called Pope Pius XII was part of a sinister plot to turn the active part of the Papacy over to the American Stunt man, Evel Kneival because, The Dude knows how to grab the spotlight and make scads of dough while Pius XII kept the contemplative part of the Papacy * in which he just chilled and hid out, remaining a recluse inside the Vatican as he quietly brooded, but after breakfast he'd perk up and begin mischievously making shadow puppets of Kaiser Wilhelm II falling off a horse and getting crushed by a clown riding a motorcycle much to the amusement of curial officials who had a reputation for drinking very early in the day.

The Double Secret Pope chose the Latin name, Evel Kneival (EK), which means Evangelical Knight, and he braved all to capture the hearts and minds of AmCatholics who like flashing things and dashing heroes but the great man was brought low when he crashed trying to jump back over Vatican Two and restore the good old days when, as EK put it;  priests didn't talk like fags and kneeling was King.

After the crash, the double secret Pope's popularity waned and even though he never actually officially promulgated anything of note, he was famous for saying, Watch this sedes, this is what will happen to you just when you think you are clearing the insurmountable hurdle of The Four Marks of the visible Church while soaring like an eagle...

NEW ORLEANS (WGNO) - On this Easter Sunday, we take a look at some very rare religious treasures in New Orleans at MS Rau Antiques on Royal Street.
News with a Twist Reporter Kenny Lopez went to MS Rau Antiques to check out these magnificent items! These rare religious treasures were once worn by Pope Paul VI, and the cross originally belonged to Pope Pius XII.  When Pope Paul VI visited the United States in 1965 he gave the cross and ring to the United Nations to auction off with all the money going to help people in poverty.  They raised 64-thousand dollars, and now the jewels are worth 1.9 million dollars!


  • The piece was a gift to the United Nations in 1965 from Pope Paul VI
  • He hoped that the proceeds from the sale of the cross would contribute to the UN's work
  • The cross originally belonged to Pope Pius XII ** and was a gift to Paul VI
  • Once owned by Pope Pius XII, Pope VI, United Nations, and daredevil Evel Kneival
  • Circa 1890-1900 7 long x 4 wide
  • 4" wide x 7" length, 18 carat gold with Colombian emeralds, 60 carats in gems, with Old European cut white diamonds including an 1.88 carat, a 7.75 carat, four 5-6 carat stones and numerous 3-4 carat stones.


  • A stunning 13.50-carat European cut diamond centers the opulent ring
  • The piece was a gift to the United Nations in 1965 from Pope Paul VI
  • The ring originally belonged to Pope Pius XII and was a gift to Paul VI
  • The ring features an exquisite Chi Ro engraving as well as inlaid diamonds and rubies on the shank
  • Once owned by Pope Pius XII, Pope Paul VI, the UN, and Evel Kneival
  • Circa 1920
Peter Hernandez, the Jewelry Sales Manager at MS Rau Antiques said they feel blessed to have this bling.  "People are just amazed to be able to see it, and touch it.  You're not going to find this unless you go to a museum or the Vatican itself,  Historically, this is a very important piece," he said.

*  Pope Pius XII never had any intention of leaving the Papacy which is why his ring was never destroyed.

The acting Prime Minister of Tradistan,  the French Traditionalist, D'Artagnan "Foie gras" DuBois, said today in response to the news:  I can't believe it, Pius XII a fake Pope too?  Man, we wuz Jewed....So that means that Pope Pius XI was the last real Pope which means we have been headless since 1939.

Damn...I gotta bust out the Chartreuse. I don't care that it is only 6:00 AM.

** Silvestriano Sinistre "Inky" Incavaglia believes that Pope Pius XII may still be alive and in support of that belief he cites the work of the well-known Vaticanologist and conspiratorialist, Giuseppe "Tiny Toes" Ferrarese who, although not at the time under oath, mysteriously said, I ain't ever seen his dead body, capiche?