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Woolly Mammoth kills transgender professor



The woolly mammoth vanished from the Earth 4,000 years ago, but now scientists say they are on the brink of resurrecting the ancient beast in a revised form, through an ambitious feat of genetic engineering.
Speaking ahead of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) annual meeting in Boston this week, the scientist leading the “de-extinction” effort said the Harvard team is just two years away from creating a hybrid embryo, in which mammoth traits would be programmed into an Asian elephant.
We at ABE Ministry are of the opinion that if the Harvard Team is successful the best possible result of the reappearance of the Woolly Mammoth would be that the great beast would charge a meeting of the Boston Area Scientists Thoughtlessly Inculcating Demonic Scenarios - BASTIDS -  pluck a transgender studies professor from her chair, beat her senseless against the walls of the Harvard Kennedy School, then heave her onto a passing Garbage Scow slowly toiling down the Charles River.




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