US Army Ranger Dirk "Sniffer" Whiffer, graduate of West Pointer War College, has been deployed to a crucial part of America's sphere of influence which extends from the swamps of Washington DC to any rice paddy earth.
Below is the entire Ranger Dirk Summa Cum Laude Commencement Address at West Pointer College:
Once again, I apologise to all of the surrounding communities because, frankly, the noise during finals at a War College can be a bit much at times but I'll tell y'all one damn thing - and y'all can take this to the bank - there ain't one damn nuke within sniffing distance so relax and God Bless America.
POTUS Donald J Gump today is quoted as saying, Look, I know America hasn't won a war since 1945 but there is no shame in getting bogged down in Korea again and I should know because my Son-in-Law, Jared the K, said I am "the man."