This past Monday was the 44th year to the day that Dan Rather solemnly announced on national TV, Elvis has left the earth.
His last words were to his girlfriend Ginger Alden; I'm going to the bathroom to read.
He was reading, "The scientific search for the face of Jesus" when he pooped out his life on the toilet.
Although the media tried to cover for Elvis, because celebrity, and claimed he had no drugs in him, the post mortem toxicology report showed substantial amounts of Codeine, Morphine, Quaaludes, Valium and 10 other drugs.
The Medical Examiner said the cause of death was, Elvis was snorting bacon which clogged-up his breathing passages and caused his lymph nodes to go all blooey and that made his heart go on the Fritz.
The glove that Satchel Paige had with him when he was bouncing around on buses during his twenty years in The Old Negro League was in better shape than Elvis.
During a Probate hearing at the Shelby County (Memphis) Court House, The Medical Examiner was asked why Elvis didn't have a Will:
Beats me. Although Elvis was relatively young and often struck poses on stage that made many in the audience think he was some sort of Martial Arts expert, the plain and simple truth is that because that doper was so gooned on drugs any Sports Book in Vegas would have given you 3-1 odds that Andy of Mayberry's Aunt Bea would have beaten him in a cage match.
It makes ya think doesn't it?
https://time.com/4894301/elvis-president-nixon-photo/