Dear Amateur Brain Surgeon.
I am a 47 year old Catholic woman who is completely flummoxed after going with my husband to a celebration-of-life service for his dead brother, Donnie, at our Martin Sheen community worship space in Pensacola, Florida.
First of all, the presider wore white, not black, and second of all, he said that Ronnie's brother, Donnie, was in Heaven but we have no way of knowing that, do we?
But, the worst thing that happened was that during the eulogy (Are we even allowed to have eulogies during a service?) for Donnie, I look over and I see Ronnie getting all cutest and smiley and flirty-wirty with this cute number and, I mean, this was right during the part where the presider is saying, "Donnie is up in Heaven looking down on us right this minute."
Yeah, well, if that was true, then Donnie was watching Ronnie flirting with some blonde during his celebration-of-life service.
Am I wrong to be mad at Ronnie who keeps telling me I am making a huge hairy mole out of a barely perceptible birthmark?
I tell ya, I was so upset I almost didn't go and grab a wafer and scarf some wine because my palms were so sweaty, I'd like to drop both of them but I'll be damned if I was going to be the only one there not to have the lord's supper - even including Donnie's wife, Zissel, who left a huge red lipstick mark on the cup.
O, and didn't I feel like a fool by telling Zissel that as a Jew she couldn't eat the wafer and drink the wine just about two seconds before the presider said, "The Lord loves everyone and he refuses no one so, please, everybody, come and share the lord's supper with us."
Signed
Flummoxed in Florida.
Dear Flummoxed in Florida. As you well know, much has changed within the Church and what you describe is just another example of that but can we really say that the way things used to be was far superior?
Si, se puede (Yes we can).
However, that does not necessarily mean that Ronnie was wrong (although he was) because modern man often has to look outside his community worship space in the local Franchise of Dead Diocese, Inc. America to latch onto some serious semiotics because it seems that nobody knows what the hell to do in Church a community worship space anymore.
Maybe, Ronnie just decided it'd be a good idea for him act like The POTUS did when he was at a televised funeral.
Besides, Barack is practically a god; Capiche?
And below you can see the photos of the Kenyan Mulatto at the funeral for Nelson Mandela and he is doing what made you so angry with Ronnie.
Lighten-up, sister.
Donnie is in Heaven (We're all going there, btw) and Ronnie was just having a bit of fun; men will be men (well, except when they are Novus ordo presiders).
For
the thousands of mourners inside Johannesburg's FNB Stadium it was
meant to be a fitting tribute to a 'giant of history'.
But
while some reflected on the remarkable life of Nelson Mandela, some
world leaders saw it as the perfect opportunity to grab a quick
'selfie' with their peers - prompting a backlash from web users
accusing them of undermining the seriousness of the event.
U.S.
President Barack Obama, Prime Minister David Cameron and Danish
leader Helle Thorning-Schmidt grinned as they cosied up for a quick
picture at yesterday's memorial service for the former South African
president, prompting an outpouring of criticism.
As
the trio posed for the mobile phone snap, Obama's wife Michelle sat
alongside her husband looking somewhat stony-faced.
Her
mood didn't improve as Mr Obama and Ms Thorning-Schmidt talked
through the order of service and shared a joke.
And
it seems that the frosty-faced First Lady was so unimpressed with her
husband's behaviour that she eventually put an end to the fun.
A
photo sequence which later went viral online appears to show Michelle
swapping seats to sit between Barack and Ms Thorning-Schmidt.
.
Selfie:
David Cameron and Barack Obama took a picture of themselves alongside
Denmark's prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt
They then share a joke during the poignant memorial to Nelson Mandela
Dear Flummoxed. Consider taking advantage of this year of Mercy and get your own self an annulment; it's free and easy.