A man walks into a confessional:
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a long time since my last confession and I have been, like, having sex with my girlfriend, like, a thousand times but she now says that if I go back to Church she will, like, leave me and go back to her husband and their three kids and that would, like, really depress me and I really love her.
O, and I have missed church, like, four hundred times and I get drunk and stoned a lot.
My Son, Thank you for your honest remarks and I want to assure you that God Himself is ok with your situation because it is complicated and, besides, not everyone can live up to the high ideals we set. You are in love at that is a good start and we can move on from there but first...
Excuse me, Father, but is it ok for me to go to Communion if I go to Church this Sunday?
Sure, no problem. You just keep doing the best you can and be nice to your girlfriend and things will work out just fine.
Now, just say an act of contrition if you remember one and if not, I will just grant you absolution and you can go in peace...
Father, do I have a penance to do?
Yes, I can give you one if you like. Be nice to your girlfriend and I absolve you of all your faults and mistakes.
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To commit a crime against the natural world is a sin against ourselves and a sin against God ** is how Franciscus describes the action of anyone who denies the doctrine of Anthropocentric Global Warming (now called climate change).
A man walks into a confessional:
Bless me, Father for I have sinned; it has been one week since my last confession and I am wondering if what I am doing is a sin in light of what the Pope has been teaching about climate change.
Very good, my Son. Please share...
Well, Father, I work as a research assistant for a scientist who produces studies proving that man is not the cause of global warm...I mean, climate change.
O, my Son. You are helping a climate denier and what you are doing is a serious sin and you must stop it immediately..
But, Father: it is the sun, not man, that is responsible for global warmin...I mean, climate change.
No, you are wrong. The Pope teaches that man is the cause of climate change and you must quit your job immediately and go and sin no more...
But, Father; I need this job. I have been married for a decade and I have four children and a wife who home schools and I can not afford to quit.
Can I have time to look for another job while I still go to Mass and receive Communion?
My Son, you are living in a state of serious sin and you are not welcome at the table of the lord until you have quit your job.
I can not absolve you of your sins at this time. Quit your job, my Son and be assured we will welcome you back into the community of mercy in the civilisation of love in this new pentecost.
* https://w2.vatican.va/content/dam/francesco/pdf/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20160319_amoris-laetitia_en.pdf
See #300-303
** https://cruxnow.com/vatican/2016/09/01/pope-calls-global-warming-sin-says-protecting-creation-work-mercy/