Amateur Brain Surgeon has been diagnosed with PDS (Pre Death Syndrome) and his doctor - a chubby female - has sent him this questionnaire for him to fill out which will help her, she claims, to formulate a treatment plan.
Slowly count to ten, then count backward from 100 to single digits using seven and then ask you own self - Do I really need that third dish of ice cream?
Have you ever exercised or is your sedentary lifestyle responsible for your condition?
Instead of consuming yet another Calzone have you considered a cruciform vegetable or some other crummy tasting vegetable?
On those rare occasions when you do eat, say, Broccoli, is it always necessary to put mayonnaise on it?
Agree or Disagree - It is always necessary to drown your mashed taters with mushroom gravy?
You claim you read somewhere that a seventh glass of wine helps to "Keep your arteries running clog-free like a new toilet." Do you have a medical source for that claim?
Whole milk is not necessary to make a decent cheese sauce; Agree or disagree?
During your last visit your heart sounded like it was on the fritz. Your were told to cut back on your homemade blueberry sauce and you promised to do so. Was that a blatant lie?
I once saw your reflection in a mirror in my office. You were making faces at me behind my back. That is so childish and makes my wonder if you take anything I say seriously. Do you?