Last Friday, we met this woman:
Well. I gotta get going. Here comes my SCAG (State Court-Appointed Guardian). God I hate her. Her name is Danielle Rosenbaum and she teaches at the local Community College. She makes me call her Dr. Dan.
Dr. Dan is the husband of this womxn, featured in the latest Bostonia Magazine - The official periodical of The Boston University Alumni.
Born a presumptive male, the child's parents named him Robert and as an African-American child of the ghetto he never knew who his Father was. As his Mother explained to him on his first birthday when he asked where his Dad was; You should me asking me who your dad was not where he is. He could be one of several relatives, maybe the taxi driver or maybe the guy who delivers beer to that damn Korean Grocery Store which does NOT belong in my 'hood - but at the age of four, Robert began to think of his own self as Bobbie and he began to steal and play with the dolls of one of his sisters; I know'd back then that I ain't no dude.
After a long and adventure-filled life, that included being the first minority recipient of a Caitlyn Jenner Trans and Field Scholarship, Bobbie dropped his surname and took up the Kinte name and Bobbie Kinte became a famous womxn wokesperson on President Biden's Hey, don't I look like America? The Presidential Advisory Commission on Bathroom Access in America Initiative.
Bobbie Kinte is Professor of Womxn’s Anthropolgy who holds the Chair of NAG, Nonsense and Gibberish, as the Department was originally called by the White President of Boston University Richard Face who, at a Christmas Faculty Kegger, said, Fuck it, imma start an entirely new school at Boston University and name a Negro as its Chair; in fact, the woman I name to be head of the new school will be such a black behemoth that she will not only qualify as the Chair of the department, she will also qualify to be the Table of the department, the China Cabinet of the department and The Side Board of the department and the Throw Rug of the department and the Wall Paper of the department and the Wainscoting of the department, and the Ceiling of the department and even the damn Windows of the entire damn department.
Of course, everyone laughed back then but the joke came to life less than ten years after Dick Face had delivered that drunken diatribe.
Bobbie Kinte, My pronouns are xe and xie was clever enough to change the meaning of the acronym NAG, Nonsense And Gibberish, so it is now understood to mean, Negroes Are Giants.
Back when Bostonia Magazine was all about the professional accomplishments and scientific achievements of its Alumni, womxn
like Bobbie called it the bad BM - as in Bowel Movement - but now that Bostonia Magazine selects sexual deviants as cover models and its content is about Intersectionality this and Identity that and Race the other thing, Bostonia Magazine is now known as the good BM - Beautiful Moments.
In the latest BM, Bobbie talks about the results of xie's Anthropology research:
Make no mistake about it, the man who sang the popular song, "Wooly Bully" - was a real life sham. His name is Domingo Samudio and he was born in Dallas, Texas not Luxor, Egypt.
He was not a Pharaoh nor was he the descendant of any Pharaoh. How could people not see that? He called his own self Sam the Sham - DUH!!!
However, he was a rhetorical rapist and his lyrics were, as is typical for all men, about rape fantasies.
As a minority womyn, I have a wooly spot on my body - no not my armpits - you know what I mean.
When The Sham Pharaoh talks about Wooly Bully he is a man who is the bully who wants to penetrate my wooly area- not my arm pit.
And the word Bully?
Look, do any of you have dogs and have any of you ever bought them a treat called a Bully? A Bully is a petrified Bull's penis and so when Sam the Sham sings "Wolly Bully, watch me now” he is asking his audience to imagine watching him raping a womxn's Wolly, My damn Wolly, with his petrified Bully penis.
Sick.
It is everywhere you look these days which is why you see these tears spilling out onto my Kalamata olive colored skin.
See, I ain't faking, I’m waking.
Let me conclude this feature by teaching you the truth about Olives. My Department has been studying Olives for years; buying them, boiling them in beakers, looking at them under electron microscopes, cooking with them, eating them, and rolling them past the noses of our three kittens gooned on catnip.
Do you understand that Virgin Olive Oil is made from olives that were never had a pimento rammed into them?
It was them French bastids who started raping olives with pimentos.
And Extra Virgin Olive Oil? Now, we are talking about the most voluptuous and sexiest queens in all of Olive Royalty who have never been near France and who do not even know what a pimento is.
Fact…
OK, peace and love. I'm out.