Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The Smurfs are Protestant

Fernando, an illegal alien married a Kentucky native of the Fugate Clan *and he developed a worshipful attitude towards her and then honored her with an oddly appealing bit of art work.

Well, that is all fine and dandy, ABS, and most people do find that song strangely appealing, especially when one is with a lot of friends, has had too much to drink, and one of the women there asks - Do you remember this one by ABBA?  -and begins singing but what does that have to do with The Smurfs being protestant?

Read on...

Curing the Blues in Ireland

adapted from Am. J. Haem 42: 3-6, 1993

Prior to WWII, Dr. Deeny practiced medicine in BainbridgeIreland, a town of about 5,000. He was sure that he could treat the cyanosis associated with heart failure by dosing the patients with a reducing agent such as ascorbic acid. 

One morning in his office, he saw outside a deeply cyanosed man walk by! Unable to get outside to stop the man, he went to the local police station and asked if they knew of a blue man in the locality. Dr. Deeny was told there were two, blue men! "Fred and Russell, brothers you know." Deeny had not know about them because the brothers were Protestant while Deeny was Catholic. 

He called on the brothers and asked if they would like to be pink. They agreed to his experiment. So, Dr. Deeny did a controlled experiment and gave one brother a daily dose of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) while the other received a placebo. The treated brother turned pink while the control remained blue.

It is interesting to consider the origins of the Fugate Clan in Kentucky  (Many people do not think Kentucky is really a state as much as it is a curse) because the first Fugate in America was a man named, Martin Fugate.

 We at ABE Ministry believe that Fugate was pronounced along with a certain hand gesture because it was the surname of a French Hugenot (Huge- Nosed) Protestant family who were colored blue, it is theorised, because God had marked the French apostates out as doomed to Hell.

So, any man colored blue is definitely protestant and so that includes, obviously, The Smurfs and one can be sure that all Smurfs - and any man with blue skin - is headed for perdition; it is ineluctable.

Now, to be sure this post has not one justifying or redeeming quality but ABS hopes this will not be considered too churlish for it is, in all honesty, just a bit of masculine fun.


  1. Masculine fun? Really, you expose yourself, ABS, to the wrath of the Snowflake division of the New World Order. I'm not a member, myself, so I can speak plainly here rather than come to your house and shriek at you. We live in a world where there IS NO MASCULINE! Get that? There is only the Femynon, or the Newtral.

    Maybe the news has not penetrated into the culture where you live, but surely your 'partner' (I'm making a leap here in assuming your partner is Femynon…) has clued you into the language you may use, and the language you may not use?

    Re above notice that the Smurfs were/are Protestant: it's obvious because their self promotion of the 'other than natural' fits into the 'protestant' ethic.

    But, hahahahaha. It's gloomy and grey here, high winds, low temperatures so yes, let's have a chuckle.

  2. Dear Daughter of Mary. Yes, the post is riven with examples of ABS contravening the constantly changing codes of Cultural Marxism and the only word to be had in defense of ABS is that he is a minority.

    He is part Injun and, thus, untouchable