It certainly would not be simony and surely some wealthy Mahometan, Piskie, or Sacred-Underoos-wearing Mormon would like to own this chatty chaff with the cheap shoes if only to set him out in some field to keep the crows away from the corn.
It was with this as a subtext that ABE Ministry (Against Basically Everything) surveyed many family members and friends about their thoughts about Our Pope and Our Cross and the results were interesting;
18% of the respondents stuck their fingers in their ears and began to scream, NOOoooooo, please don't even mention his name; he makes me mental.
31% of the respondents were quite tipsy, if not bombed (well, it is an Irish-Algonquin family), when surveyed and they simply sarcastically said, Feck off, and poured another glass of what it was they were drinking.
However, 51%, a clear and convincing majority, said, Sell him.
Yes, that is the surprising result of the annual Papal Survey and while selling a Pope on Ebay would be contrary to Tradition, such an action would be in keeping with the ceaseless revolutionary ecclesiastical praxis since 1960, so, why not?
This is the Church of the people and the people have spoken.
Sell the Pope, not the Papacy.
The Founder and Chairman of ABE Ministry, Amateur Brain Surgeon, would like to contribute to the effort by suggesting a few sales pitches:
He comes with a title of authenticity
He chased 500 of the faithful out of Vatican employment during Christmastide in 2014 so just imagine how easy it will be for him to chase crows out of your cornfield in May.
We include this vid of Stone the Crows band because the expression, Stone The Crows, was on the minds of many traditionalists aware of who Bergolio was when announcement of his election was made and he took the name, Francis.