Pope Francis today announced that the next World Youth Day will be held at Stonehenge in England.
 |
It has come to my attention that a lot of attention has been paid recently to Stonehenge and it comes as no surprise to those of us whose ears and spiritual spidey senses are attuned to The Holy Spirit and how it chooses to surprise us that even more attention could be brought to bear on this historic site of worship by those who, not seeking attention for themselves but, rather, are attentive to, or if you will, the new spiritual movements must, I think, be attended to.
Amen.
This historic site was likely begun by Celtic Priests from Ireland who magically brought these heavy stones to the attention of the Brits who stood in rapt attention once they were alerted to pay attention to these suddenly attention-grasping monoliths arrayed as they were in attentive positions.
As the Bishop of Rome I too have been called a rock upon which the Church has been built and I can say, without seeking the attention of others, that God wills all forms of religion and so we must attend to the fact that God is behind this sudden appearance of heavy stoneage that is arrayed as though it has a message to those who come and stand at attention before it.
I call on all Catholics, Magicians, Myth-Makers, Greta Thunberg, Jeffrey Sachs, and Bono, and Druids of all races and nationalities, especially our friends at The United Nations, to come to World Youth Day and make speeches about our mutual, although completely different, brands of beliefs and cook native specialities as we turn our attention to the laser rainbow spotlight which will be cast upon these huge stone things every day at midnight as the very stones themselves cry out for us to direct our attention to climate change and the refusal of some xenophobic members of the political class who are opposed to mass migrations of peoples in direct contradiction to the history of this great monument to mass migration or something and that is not even to mention the disappearance of some species of spiders.
Amen.
Please memorise this chant as all Catholics will be constrained to solemnly sing this as I descend upon the crowds from a hot air ballon;
https://www.johnderbyshire.com/Opinions/RadioDerb/Extras/Ringtone.mp3